Seven deal before making a commitment

July 18, 2008 · Filed Under marriage tips 

There are a million problem must be dialed before making  a commitment. Like you will stay with parents in- law or own home ? The wife works or not ? Recognize it before getting married.

According to Johannes papa, physiologist. Ideally , the couple makes a commitment before marriage. The commitment you make like :

1.    Who is the treasurer
The most important thing is transparency between them. Who hold the money is not the main problem . Just be flexible, moreover now there is a joint account, so they can check each other.
Before giving money to wife, a husband must know how much the budget every month. Than he can give the salary according to it , but the concept giving 100 % is not good. What must give is for together needs.

2.    Where to live
What do you think ? It is nicer to live in our own home or with parents in law ?
According to Johannes, ideally in one home there is one head of the family. If there are two is not healthy. If you live at own home, you can stand with your own foot, you can manage in everything. You have individually freedom.

On the other hand, here are several things happen when stay with parents in- law :    -     you have no freedom to use your own experiment, like managing your home because it depends on them.
Need adjusting . If you don’t know you know the parents in – law, there must be a conflict between you and your partner and them.
You need limiting yourself and controlling yourself to be suited with them.
In financial , if parents in law work and the child doesn’t . They will support her / him. And it happens the opposite.
For a  child , a husband and wife can share with parents in law. Like kitchen needs handled by them, you are telephone and electricity.

3.    Dare to say “ no “
In Indonesian culture, parent’s interference is still high. How far it is you can recognize it during your date process. Don’t let him become “ a mommy child” or “puppy child “ everything must consult them , while you aren’t consulted. Just a little one, you consult with them. I don’t mean to hurt them ,but we try to dare to take our own decision. If too much, dependency we will lose our identity. And dare to say no what you think it right.

4.    Limit your hobby
Before marriage, you always hang out. Now you must limit it , avoid activity doesn’t support your marriage.

5.    Money allocation
To buy a car or furniture, must be talked over together. The money you get after and before marriage must be talked together, ok ?

6.    Have a child or not
To have a child or not must be discussed before marriage.

7.    The wife works or becomes a house wife
It deals with economic condition. If you both work together and after marriage, he wants you still work. You must be clever to allocate the time, ok ? . Because caring house wife and child are not 100 % at wife.

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