I am Tired…..

May 27, 2008 · Filed Under marriage problems 

I feel so terrible now. Few minutes ago I was just fine.  But i saw my husband chatting with a woman in the Internet.  He said that was just for work and she is just a friend.  I don’t know but I am jealous.  I’m too afraid of loosing him.  But it is more than just a jealous.  It seems that I got trauma on my past experience.

In the second years of our marriage he was cheating me.  I felt so hurt. We have a bad relationship and bad communication for several years. 

Now, when everything is starting to be just fine, I saw him chatting.  Maybe I don’t trust him anymore.  Maybe I got trauma.  Maybe….I don’t know.

All I know that I feel so terrible now.  I lost my spirit.  I lost my smile.  I lost my happiness.

But I hope I don’t lost my life. I hope I don’t lost my family. I hope everything will be just fine.  I hope I can smile again. I hope……..

I forget every theory of happy married.  I don’t want to know and remember about it.  I just need sometimes to stay alone now.  Alone.  I don’t want to talk to anybody now. 

Please leave me.  Just leave me alone and lonely. 

I am tired of being hurt.  I am tired of talking.  I am tired of asking.  I am tired of everything.

I am tired.  So tired.

Can somebody understand me?

Can somebody help me? ……………………………………….

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